Loving the process

Have you ever wondered why the fulfilment you feel after reaching a target is so short-lived?

It doesn’t matter; how big an achievement is, how long it’s taken to get there or how much you’ve sacrificed to be successful, the satisfaction post-completion is always short-term. 

Why is that? 

The fact is that the vast majority of people who realise a long-term ambition, respond with more negative emotions than positive. It’s as if the structure they have built into everyday life is filling a void which only becomes clear after the need for it has been removed.

How do we avoid this?

Most people tend to jump straight into their next goal. However, I believe that a person that jumps from one achievement to the next is stuck on a road to short-term happiness. They spend so much time looking to the future, that they don’t stop to think about the here and now.

What makes me think this? This was me in a nutshell. 

I’d say that I’ve spent around 95% of my life thinking about the future and what it might hold, never appreciating what I had in the present. This isn’t me shitting on future-proofing yourself - that’s just smart life-admin - but I don’t believe for a second that the happiest people in the world are the one’s who think with the (what I like to call) ‘I’ll be happy when’ mindset.

This mindset encapsulates the exact type of person I was describing. They set a target, achieve it, indulge in short-term feelings of gratification and move on to the next thing. Sure, they’re experiencing so many things in their lives that others could only dream of, but are they really learning and gaining enjoyment from those experiences?

Most tend to see achievement as a process of hard work over a stretch of time, in a bid to achieve something that will improve their life. Though this is sort of true, it describes a direct outcome for your time and effort, but mentions nothing about the indirect outcomes. I believe the experience gained whilst attaining a goal is what people are overlooking in their search for higher levels of fulfilment. 

You don’t enjoy whatever hobbies float your boat for the outcome, you enjoy them for the process. Even though your mind is excited at the prospect of being able to complete the task, the act of engaging with the activity’s intricacies is what really ramps up your enthusiasm for doing it.

Think about it like this:

You and your friend love badminton, and get together to play each other every Tuesday. How unsatisfying would Tuesday's badminton session become, if your mate turned up, admitted you were the superior player and crowned you as victorious?

It doesn’t matter if we’re discussing your life’s hobbies or your life’s ambitions. We have to gain enjoyment and experience from the everyday grind, or the outcome will be worth nothing. To learn from your achievements and gain positive long-lasting experience from each one, you must be fulfilled by the process.

Between the years of 1992 and 1997, one name reigned supreme across the world of bodybuilding - Dorian Yates. Yates won the international bodybuilding competition ‘Mr. Olympia’ for 6 consecutive years, placing himself as the 5th most successful winner of all time. Yates became synonymous for removing himself from the public eye during the off-season and waltzing straight to the top of the podium on show day, earning himself the nickname of ‘The Shadow’.

But what’s Dorian Yates got to do with anything?

Yates is the absolute personification of loving the process. 

Bodybuilders are some of the most vain, narcissistic and self-obsessed sportspeople in the world. However, Yates was different. As his nickname suggests, he wasn’t in it for the admiration. He would rock up to a contest dressed in a baggy hoody and sweatpants, whip his kit off for the judges, smile/tense, get handed his winner’s trophy and slip off back into the darkness. In fact, Dorian has suggested that posing for pictures on contest day, wasn’t where he found his enjoyment for the sport. He found it his preparation. Contest day wasn’t where Yates found his competition, he found it on the gym floor. 

Like Dorian, we should be aiming to seek out the knowledge and experiences that our process presents. Without taking stock of our short-term improvements, we are destined to live a life of transient episodic happiness. 

If you feel like you don’t love the day-to-day slog of whatever you’re doing, I’d question whether the outcome will ever be worth it. Though for arguments sake, let’s say it is - who cares? 

Much like Yates himself, that feeling will disappear into the darkness by the time the champagne cork hits the ceiling.