The sunk cost fallacy

During our lives, we invest our time into lots of different things. Relationships, friendships, hobbies, jobs, learning and experiences, tend to be the key areas that absorb the majority of that time. However when it is clear that something is no longer benefitting our lives, but we have invested a large amount of time into that something, we find it difficult to depart from our current trajectory. This is the sunk cost fallacy.

There is a belief that because we’ve invested a hefty amount of time into areas such as; who we spend our time with and where we spend our time, that moving on from them would mean that time was somehow wasted. This is a misapprehension that the mind has devised, in the hope that being victim to this will some how bring us stability.

The sunk cost fallacy is a concept that could be considered the key difference between the settle and strive mentalities. Do I remain in comfort and stability, or do I advance into the unknown?

It is the belief that we make rational decisions based on the value that relationships, investments and experiences can bring us in the present and in the future.

This is a part of the web of lies that we have spun, in an attempt to convince ourselves that we are creatures of logic. Entities that are able to judge the circumstances based on their context, arrive at the most appropriate implementable measures and put those measures into effect. Not only is this not true, in most cases it’s the complete opposite.

Your mind craves equilibrium.  

In your mind, a stable equilibrium helps to harness a feeling of control and security across your life. In other words, your mind wishes to remain in homeostasis. A state where you are comfortable, confident and in control. If your mind is offered a change in circumstance that comes with drawbacks, it will be swiftly rejected. This isn’t to prevent you from adding more to your life, your mind is merely forming ways to remove the possibility for movement in the scale of stability. 

However, in your mind’s attempt to avoid imbalances, it also removes the possibility for positive growth. Here is the conundrum. This is the supernatural force that coerces a population to settle, rather than strive.

Here’s the bad news, short of becoming a human cyborg there is no way to remove emotion from our thought processes. However, what we can do is attempt to alter our mindset when presented with situations similar to those described. 

In Mark Manson’s book, Everything is f*cked, he discusses a psychological visualisation that can be used to allow your mind to chose the way it reacts to certain situations. Here is a brief overview:

Your mind is a car with two steering wheels and two sets of peddles. On one side is your thinking brain. This is the part of your mind that allows you to make rational decisions based upon the facts you have to hand. On the other side is your feeling brain. This is the part of the mind that imparts emotion into our lives. As you can see, these two parts of the mind have to coexist for someone to be both in control of their actions/decisions and well, human.

So, how does this apply to the sunk cost fallacy.

In our case, limiting the feeling brains ability to manoeuvre the vehicle will allow you to assess each case on it’s own merits/deficiencies. This isn’t about removing the feeling brains ability to contribute (again, we’re not robots), but allowing the thinking brain to assume control.

If we are able to wrestle the wheel from the hands of our feeling brain, we can begin to arrive at more rational outcomes. All that’s left after that is to put these choices into practise. 

Having the confidence to do that will not come overnight, but with consistency comes progression. We all have the ability to make these changes to our lives, we just have to implement minor alterations in the way that we think to get us there. 

Just because you’ve spent a long period of time doing something, or being with someone, doesn’t mean you have to continue. 

You may believe your time has been wasted if you give up now. 

Well, that’s all the more reason to not waste anymore of it. 

You may believe you are too emotionally invested. 

I’m sure you’ve had some great times with this partner/friend or job, but to arrive at a crossroads were you are considering a future without it, can only mean that there are undying feelings of negativity.

If you’re looking for a speech that you’re thinking will somehow force you into making the changes we’ve spoke about, I don’t have one. But I will leave you with this:

People often refer to life as this ‘journey’. A route to follow consisting of forks representing the decisions that we are faced with. I personally think it’s all a bit Disney-ish, but the underlying lessons are concrete. 

Craving equilibrium, though natural and pleasant, shortens your journey and limits your experiences, because at the end of the day, everyone’s journey ends with them lying in a box in the ground. 

Stop seeking comfort and start striving. 

“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it's a small price to pay for living a dream.” - Peter McWilliams